More info:
When parent won’t let home health care workers into their home
What caregivers are saying- Join the discussion:
“Dad won’t let outside caregivers into his house”
Bad Behavior #9: Over-Spending or Extreme Frugalness
Some caregivers are pulling out their hair over elderly mother or father’s shopaholic habits. Others are going crazy over “frugal,” “thrifty,” or downright cheap elderly parents.
The ability to handle one’s own money is about power and independence. If age or disease takes away some of your independence in other areas, a person is apt to try to make up for this loss in another way.
Spending is one of those ways. Spending (or saving) can help a person feel powerful. Spending (or saving) also can be like a drug to cover up the fear underneath those losses.
What to do:
The parents will insist there is no problem. It’s their money and they can spend it as they choose. They do have a right, to an extent, to spend their money as they see fit.
For over-spenders, when their spending habits are draining the last of their finances, or forcing others to cover expenses they should be paying for themselves, it’s time to step in. If you can show them the problem in black and white – the total amount spent on shopping, or receipts that others have spent on their care, such as food and medications – it might hit home.
As with so many tricky areas with aging parents, sometimes a third party is best brought in. The key is this person, be it a financial professional, a friend, or a spiritual leader, is not the adult child.
Money hoarders may have these behaviors as a result of having lived through the Great Depression, a down economy, past job loss and countless other situations in which money was virtually non-existent. They feared “going broke” and being able to take care of their family. However, they likely don’t want to see a family member go through the financial hardships either. Showing them the out-of-pocket expenses regarding their care that you must pay might help. Bringing in a financial advisor is another route to go.
More info:
“Help! Mom’s a shopahaulic”
What caregivers are saying- Join the discussion:
“Thrifty…or Cheap Elderly Relatives.”
Bad Behavior #10: Wants All the Caregiver’s Time and Attention
Once an adult son or daughter becomes a caregiver, their elderly parent might construe that commitment as a 24-hour full-time job. However, the caregiver has other priorities…work, family, etc. The parent becomes completely dependent on the caregiver for all physical and emotional needs, and therefore are over-demanding of your time. This is a hard transition.
What to do:
This is a time when a caregiver needs to make themselves a priority. Caregiving is stressful but when it turns into a full-time job, with a demanding parent, it is a recipe for caregiver burnout.
Don’t get lost in caring for others. Make yourself a priority. Get your parent involved in senior activities or adult day care, depending on their capabilities. They will probably go kicking and screaming, but having others to interact with combats the loneliness and makes them a bit less dependent on you. If your parent is housebound, consider a home companion to visit on a regular basis. Home companions are available through home health care agencies, churches and charitable organizations.

Marlo Sollitto, Contributing Editor
http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/bad-behavior-by-elderly-parents-138673.htm
©2014 AgingCare, LLC All rights reserved.